Generation 3: Brokeback Apocalypse - Part Two

Okay, it seems that I've been allowed to continue my posting, so that makes for two bits of wonderful news for me this week, and I'm sure you all don't mind all that much either! So here I am, back again with a FANTASTIC update for you all...and if you dare to disagree with me, I'm not all that opposed to get what I want.

Our glorious update begins with a glorious death! Captain Hero, a.k.a. Gavin, came home to find Death knock knock knockin' at his dooooooor. (I would have sung that line for you, but I have been advised against singing by my co-conspirator on this blog)

A very gay looking Death showed up in a lei to get up all in Gavin's face and say, "Heeeeeeeey!"

I'm pretty sure that Gavin was kinda weirded out by just how fruity Death was looking, until he saw the nice pair of hula zombies that came to help take him over to the other side. Note the fact that I said pair, and only showed one zombie in the background. That, kids, is what we in the biz like to call innuendo.

So Gavin crossed over, leaving his ashes by the door, and outside...kitties got their busy on. Bombadil and Arwen got to bringing in some new additions to the household. Hey dol, merry dol indeed!

Back on the inside of the shack, Dagmar was present for Ajax to turn from an infant into a toddler. Awww, let's all look at this picture and try to figure out whether he looks more like Dagmar or Julian...

...anyone? Any guesses? He uhh...seems to have a bit of a tan...ish...complexion.

In the back of the room, suddenly an urn began to eerily levitate. Was it Kyung-Soon? Stephan? Skanky Cowgirl Eris??

...Gandalf (the Gray Cat) had returned from the other side, only this time...
HE.

MEANS.

BUSINESS.

Mao and I had a slight disagreement over his purpose for returning to the mortal realm (of sorts). It was my opinion that Gandalf came back to be cute, make mroow noises, and cause small objects to fly around the room. Mao seemed to think that he came back to plant seeds of terror throughout the shack and drain the wants of all nearby sims. Pssh, what harm can a little ghost kitty back from the dead cause?

Sadly, there was no time to test my theory, for the limp wrist of Death was back to bring Artanis over to the discotheque in the sky.

Elrond meanwhile was given a chance card. Should he invite the Paparazzi out to lunch, or try to evade them on a high speed chase through a tunnel or two on the outskirts of a faraway village?

On a hunch that the other option may lead to something nasty, I chose to have a meet and greet with the Paparazzi...and was stuck with the bill. I guess that must mean it is always better to just let the Paparazzi chase you than have a cup 'o tea with them.

The good news for the day came in the form of Julian becoming a mad scientist. Reaching the top of that career could only mean one thing...

Lights all over the house. At least six per room. Turned on 24/7. 365. You get the hint. These guys have been without a lightbulb for years...so of COURSE they are going to have more candlepower going through that shack than a six year old left in a dark house for more than five minutes.

Phoebe had been doing nanny duty on our little future leader in the Zombie Trojan War, who had decided to sit looking adorable with a bottle.

Outside though, Death stopped by for a little chat with Phoebe. He probably didn't want much...maybe to have a little chat or play a quick game of Rummy or something.

Unfortunately, he caught Phoebe at a very inopportune time, as she had just littered. Where I'm from, the penalty for littering is maybe $100 or so, but in Fallout Springs, the penalty for littering is DEATH.

After Pheobe's death, it wasn't long before Ajax grew into a child. I still can't quite put my finger on whether or not he looks like Phoebe, Julian, or any number of random zombie townies that I've seen wandering past...

...nah, he looks like a mirror image or Julian, don't you think?

The wonder twins started to throw a hissy fit over the paternity of Ajax, and it appeared that Jake had been rubbing off just a bit too much onto Julian.

.

Man love aside, a war was once again underway elsewhere in the house. This time, Elrond made a move for a very cranky Arwen's food bowl. Don't you know anything Elrond? You do NOT come between a pregnant cat and her food bowl. Elrond's Tai Chi Flying Suplex unfortunately, was not enough to save him from losing the fight, and then hearing about it for the next several days.

Better news was on the way for Bombadil though, as he reached the top of the security career, and sims were once again free to cross the barrow-downs street with peace of mind.

Just in case the twins Julian wasn't already drowning in the sea of estrogen created by Dagmar and the pregnant cat, with all of the ghosts roaming about, the house needed a backup heir, so much woohooing was done until Dagmar was once again with child.

After eating God only knows how many plates of lobster, hamburgers, and other assorted cravings, Dagmar finally fell asleep in her pancakes late into the pregnancy. Julian in the meantime, was busy reading the obituaries comics.

Unfortunately, it was soon found that poor Arwen was bugged, and her kittens were stuck. Everything from hacks to coat hangers were tried, and the kittens just wouldn't come out, so after nearly 5 days, Arwen was sent away and replaced with Goldberry, a new yellow cat.

Julian's estrogen filled twin meanwhile was busy reaching top of career in education. With his achievement, all sims in this generation had lifted a restriction, and were free to die. (I'm such a sweetie, aren't I?)

Shortly thereafter, Dagmar had Helen, the newest addition to the Dual household. Aww, isn't a cute...

...

Okay, I would like to take this time to make a public service announcement. Retarded babies are never funny or to be used in jokes.

...until their heads are on sideways.

Something tells me that I should have named this girl after Helen Keller instead of Helen of Troy.

Some people are supportive and loving when a retarded special baby is born, but oh no. Not Dagmar. She decided to poke fun and imitate her new baby girl.

Goldberry was very unhappy about Dagmar's jokes that were just uncalled for. All I have to say is that thankfully, I'm far more politically correct than Dagmar, and would NEVER make a joke about the mentally challenged.

Now someone hurry up and get that girl some waah-terr.

...okay, so I lied.

Soon thereafter, Goldberry got her busy on with Elrond, a slightly less funny looking Helen was put to bed, and oh yeah, the dead again roamed the earth. Poor Ajax for the worst of it, and after several attacks, fell asleep between a plate of lobsters and the ashes of his ancestors.

Dagmar didn't last too long that night, either. She fell asleep in a recliner downstairs while trying to escape the Wrath of Kyung-Soon on the second floor. Don't you worry Kyung-Soon...if our favorite Mad Scientist ever reinvents the vacuum cleaner, your ass is getting a ride through some massive cyclonic action.

And now, here is our friendly Don Zombo, reminding us to pay the zombie mafia for protection this week. See the snowman stump? That was a threat!

Helen soon grew up into an adorable little tyke, while Jake fantasized about some birthday cake.

Red hair? Now I am seriously starting to question Dagmar's fidelity. First the dark skinned Ajax, and now a red haired Helen. Something tells me that she found herself a tall, dark, red-haired zombie and got her necro freak on.

Shortly after Julian began to ask for a paternity tesy, Goldberry had two adorable kittens named Eowyn and Aragorn. (Please don't tell anyone, but all of the cats so far have been named with a common theme in mind.)

Goldberry celebrated the occasion by attempting to eat her offspring. See, if the damn ghosts wouldn't keep turning the food bowls around, we wouldn't have this problem.

Back in the shack, Ajax passed out after another assault by Kyung-Soon. Julian looked on at his alleged son, wondering if he should wake him up, or just give him a little push and laugh.

Not long after Ajax woke up, he attempted to go upstairs and get some sleep. Kyung-Soon just wouldn't allow it however. She scared poor Uncle Jake until his he lost his mind, and then went after Ajax causing him throw his hands in the air like he just didn't care.

Before the twins could make it back to the relative safety of the downstairs, Kyung-Soon unleashed a surprise, synchronized attack, leading to a hilarious surprise, synchronized slapping of the forehead.

Eventually, the twins made it down the stairs. Jake made it to the recliner just in time, but Julian and Ajax weren't as lucky. Julian passed out in the middle of the floor, and Goldberry decided to have a late night snack of Ajax's Goldberries.

Soon enough Ajax grew up into his player outfit, and after receiving a cool, "What up?", Julian decided that he wanted nothing more to do with his son.

Meanwhile, Helen too grew up, into a nice combination of a naughty schoolgirl and a Hogwart's uniform...or, for any viewers as seen on To Catch a Predator, a Naughty Hogwart's Schoolgirl uniform.

...something tells me that girl is going to be trouble, as well as our next entertaining heir.

Meanwhile, it was chance card time for our lovable Uncle Jake. Should he choose to integrate a computer game about a great...big...hard...spelling carrot, or the more traditional mullet inspired "Hunting and Fishing: Scavenging for Algebra"?

Who are we kidding, this is Uncle Jake we're talking about!

$45,000 later, the survivors have even more money that they will never need, and Jake is going to be permanently dreaming of carrots and other assorted vegetables.

I had hung a picture of clowns over the beds on the second floor, hoping to scare the children throughout the night, but Skanky Cowgirl Eris proved to be far more efficient at scaring Helen in the middle of the night. As if that girl doesn't already have enough issues to deal with, now she has this.

Goldberry soon got a chance card very reminiscent of one I had run across in another early play session. Before, I had chosen to turn away potential clients, and been fired from the job because of it. I was smarter this time though, and invited the clients in to see the house.

...and again, was fired from the job. Some luck I have. Outside the home, pandemonium ensued as several sleepy residents of the shack returned and instantly feel asleep by the curb. Jake fell asleep standing up, Zombo showed up to discuss some new "business arrangements" with a partially completed snowman, and Elrond gave his best impression of a wounded soldier from back in the glory days of 'Nam.

In a flurry of chance cards, it was Eowyn's turn to pick whether or not to eat cat food potentially containing ingredients imported all the way from China, or let her rival stars take a bite of a new line of cat food. Eowyn passed the job up, and was fired. Her ancestors were surely not pleased by this turn of events.

...suddenly the cute, cuddly, ethereal Gandalf turned into one bad mutha. (Shut 'yo mouth)

The first of his many victims that night was Helen, who passed out after being terrorized by the ghastly apparition of Gandalf, using an urn as her pillow. Aww, how sweet...in a creepy sort of way.

Upstairs, Kyung-Soon observed as Eris terrorized Dagmar, ensuring that she was doing her job properly. Thankfully, Dagmar soon escaped.

That night, somewhere in a dark, secluded laboratory, Julian began working on a sinister machine capable of raising the deaaaaaad!...plaaaaants!

After yet another reward of $55,000, I decided that I never want to see a chance card again in my life.

...and that it was time for Helen to grow up into a teenager!

Naughty Hogwart's Schoolgirl? Now it was time for her to grow up into...a...

um...a...

...a Naughty Badass Cheerleader. (Check the logo, that has to be what it means)

Okay, my mind is made up...forget Ajax, he died in the Odyssey anyway. The new heir shall be Helen of Fallout Springs! May she reign in her cheerleader outfit for days to come!

And on that note, Dagmar and the twins all grew into elderhood, and again, into the same clothes. As this generation in Fallout Springs draws to a close, Ajax and his sister Helen are off to college, the rest of the shack is aging, and the spirits still lurk in the background.

Okay guys, to the living room! Wheel of Fortune is on, and I'm OUT!

---

On that note, I must wish my adoring fans a wonderful time until I return again. With the Generation IV on its way to college, it has once again become Mao's turn to work on some updates. In the meantime, feel free to continually shower me with affection, adoration, and tribute!

...okay, still waiting on the tribute here. Annnny time now...right? Hello? Adoring fans?

-Vlad

• Science restriction lifted
• Education restriction lifted
  

Important Post

Ladies and gentlemen, this may be my last update on this blog.

As you know, the blog belongs to Mao, and she has the ultimate say on what gets
posted here, and what doesn't...but that doesn't mean that I can't slip
a few things in past her from time to time.

Of course, none of you will see this exactly when she does, but rest assured, I'm
probably going to already be waiting in position to STRIKE when the time comes.

...until then though, let's take a trip down nostalgic lane, shall we?  May
I direct your attention to this long forgotten place that took me quite awhile to
locate.  I'm sure Mao remembers it quite well...don't you, Mao?

[Link Removed]

The post said: "I find it somehow funny that being one of the early posters at the
forum, that I will be one of the last. Seven and a half long years ago,
I met a wonderful moderator here named Ann, and after quite a long
while of searching for this place, I have at last found it and returned
home. I had to find my way back to this place, because I felt it only
right to return here to ask:


WILL YOU MARRY ME?

...and you thought you could avoid all of this stuff and just go straight to the ring, didn't you? " 




...now, let's see if she ever trusts me with one of her blogs again

;b

-Vlad

Generation 3: Brokeback Apocalypse - Part One

*ahem* Ladies and gentlemen. Hi. I'm Vlad. I'm here today to talk to you about something rather disturbing, and honestly, quite shocking. I have been posting challenge updates for my loyal servants readers for quite some time now, and sadly, have not yet received one bit of tribute. No small unmarked currency, no statues, no idols, nothing. Not even a Vlad is great, Vlad is good, now we thank him for this hood. Perhaps you all need reminded of my awesometastic power and might and SimDiety status. By the end of this update, someone will die. See? Look what you're going to make me do. Now let's get down to business this week with a recap, shall we?

Previously on Apocalypse Mao...
My wonderful Mao was kind enough to set Julian up with all of the skills he would need as a scientist but cooking, and have him build a relationship with a certain Dagmar Bertino. Unfortunately, Jake must have drawn the short straw, as well as ridden the short bus, as his skills were minimal. It was decided that Julian would go into science as planned, his future wife would go into military in order to help decimate the zombie population (as well as help send a sim to college), and Jake would go into education (ironic, isn't it?). As pretty handsome as Jake was, it was clear that he would still need some help to land a job anywhere other than the back of a McDonald's.

Jake and Julian were allowed to skill build (and drop a pound or two) while they were waiting for the appropriate jobs to become available. I did however allow them to find the time to construct a few sentries to protect their shack

Finally, Jake did manage to land a job in education, while Julian went into science. Julian took off right away and did great, but Jake for whatever reason, appeared to want to make out with a lipstick wearing pirate drawn on a paper plate. Perhaps this was an omen of things to come?

After the twins' first day of work, Julian decided to invite Dagmar to move in with them. As you can see, she brought more than enough skills with her to make up for Jake's lack of skills. I shouldn't say that like it is a bad thing though. Jake has always just...somehow seemed to be different than his brother.

Meanwhile, night began to fall on the quaint little town shack of Fallout Springs. With the advance of night, so too did the spirits of the dead awaken from their slumber, to feast upon the souls of the...hey wait, is she looking at her own skanky cowgirl portrait?

I'm sure Eris must have been flattered to see that she was at least being remembered fondly...outfit and all. Unfortunately, not all ethereal sims present were all that touched by this little moment.

The Bitch was back.

Kyung-Soon struck with a vengeance! She tore through the shack, scaring everyone she could find, and even went into the cat's house where Gandalf was made to question why his master hadn't been litter box trained like he was.

That was it! It was ON! That wench was going DOWN! Zombo called a press conference for his fellow Americans, to help ease their troubled minds during this time of crisis.

Did I say Americans? I meant snowmen. Either way, ladies and gentlemen....LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLE! (VLAD style)

Had the fight have taken place, likely it would have ended with the toilet both clogging and emitting a foul odor, while Kyung-Soon continued to be pissed off about her destroyed bed and care less about a stinky toilet...however the Hand of Mao intervened, keeping Kyung-Soon's ashes safe...for now.

Kyung-Soon celebrated her victory by listening to Thriller and busting out some sweet new moves.

I'll get you one day, Kyung-Soon...one day.

In the meantime however, Dagmar and a very frostbitten Julian started to get cozy!

...and before long, they were engaged! Fortunately for Dagmar, she didn't notice the violent beating of Gavin in the back of the room. See, Dagmar? This is what you have to look forward to. Cramped conditions, poor environments for children to be raised in, and oh yeah, the dead wandering the earth in a cheery post-apocalyptic setting. As I like to say, fun for the entire family!

A short while later, in a private ceremony attended by Dagmar, a stinky frostbitten Julian, and maybe the wandering eye of a zombie penguin, the two were finally wed behind the shack, as an exchange of shiny magician's rings appeared to take place.

Gandalf meanwhile decided that while everyone's eyes were on the cute couple behind the shack, his time to strike Artanis was now. Gandalf did some sort of Cracked Out Kung Fu Leap of the Cat onto poor Artanis, and nearly got away with it.

Zombo attempted to interview a mutant snowman about his thoughts on the recent violent outbursts in the Dual shack, however he learned nothing aside from a detailed account of what Fallout Springs looked like before "the accident".

The bad luck in the household didn't end with threats of flushing or leaping cats, however. Arwen chose (okay, or I chose for her) to turn away some potential buyers from her nice security job, and unfortunately, that earned her some time off work, a new career, and no unemployment check. Arwen was fired.

Things simply couldn't get any worse elsewhere in the house, so maybe it is time to see what else was going on.

We know what had been going on with Julian and his lovely wife...and the ghost of Kyung-Soon...and the War of the Cats...but has anyone seen Jake?

Jake? Hello? Ja...oh hey, you seem like you've met some sort of new friend. Care to introduce us?

Wow Jake...you um...sure seem to be happy. That's an odd look for you. What are you two talking about so intently?

...J...Jake? Why are you touching his hand? Worse yet...why are you talking about trains?!? Is this a euphemism for something that isn't quite rated G?!

OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT. BREAK IT UP.

It seems that our good buddy Jake enjoys talking about dresses with his new special friend...and asking, "Do you think I would look good in that?"

At this rate, it looks like Julian's kids are going to end up with a friendly and over-excitable Uncle Jake.

While the entire house (okay, me) was still reeling from this latest development...the ghost of Stephan was stalking Artanis, demanding revenge for the destruction of his bed.

Phoebe was in the upstairs of shack, when Kyung-Soon tried oh so hard to get her revenge. It didn't work. Phoebe just started imitating her ghostly mother.

Ah, you crack me up Phoebe. In the background, you can see part of a spooky portrait of Phoebe that I put by the cribs. If that doesn't scare the hell out of any new additions to the family, I don't know what will.

The next day, Julian, Dagmar, and Uncle Jake all got chance cards at work.

BAM! PROMOTION!

BAM! FIVE GRAND!

BAM!...wait, $970? A stupid hot chocolate volcano? I'm starting to think that Julian may need to get his butt in gear and move up in his career track. Speaking of moving up though...

...someone came calling for Gandalf, to take him up to the big fluffy cat bed in the sky. Gandalf soon evaporated and turned into this nice, portable cat carrier...of sorts, while his friends and victims looked on. Even Artanis bowed before what was left of poor Gandalf (the Grey cat).

Gavin spun up wants both to sell a masterpiece and to sell a novel, so inspired by the passing of Gandalf, he put on his favorite bandana and begun work on his epic masterpiece, "Shit, Dawg. We All Gonna Die".

Dagmar, nearing the top of her career track, received another chance card...

...and scored $50k for the family to spend on maintaining their shack! Sweet!

Even better, within hours, both Elrond and Dagmar returned home, both reaching their respective top of careers!

Top of career? Several days off in a row? It was baby time!

The time to get busy is now!

...I honestly don't know how she did it in that suit, but whatever she did worked. Dagmar became pregnant, and the next generation was on its way.

Julian climbed out of bed to practice chess with his twin brother. Kyung-Soon made an appearance, looking displeased as always, while her son Jake tried to ask Julian what he thought of the Village People.

To replace Gandalf, a new cat was brought into the house. Hey dol! Merry dol! Bombadil the cat is here to save the day!

I must admit, Bombadil is QUITE the nice looking cat.

The next night, Phoebe walked in to take care of the cats, and started sobbing uncontrollably. Before I knew it, she was going crazy in the floor, and a retarded zombie was walking in to see what was going on with her. Eventually, she was okay, and had a few wants spin up that could be completed even under the restrictions, so in the end, all was well.

Arwen was the next pet to make it to the top of her career, ensuring that any sims in need of rescue from the zombie hordes would be well taken care of.

Gavin, being the oldest sim in the house, proved to us all that he certainly didn't FEEL like the oldest one when...eww. I'm sorry, that still just doesn't seem right...

LOOK! Even Dagmar is screaming in pain at the thought! That or...hey wait, she's having a baby!

Everyone, please greet Ajax, the newest member of the Dual household. Say hi, Ajax!

...okay, or just gurgle and spit up, that works too.

And with that, my servants loyal readers, I end this quite lengthy update with the birth of the next generation. Let's keep your favorite VB in mind with those unmarked bills though, okay? ;b

• Military restriction lifted [Dagmar]
  

-Part Two-