Generation 3: Brokeback Apocalypse - Part One

*ahem* Ladies and gentlemen. Hi. I'm Vlad. I'm here today to talk to you about something rather disturbing, and honestly, quite shocking. I have been posting challenge updates for my loyal servants readers for quite some time now, and sadly, have not yet received one bit of tribute. No small unmarked currency, no statues, no idols, nothing. Not even a Vlad is great, Vlad is good, now we thank him for this hood. Perhaps you all need reminded of my awesometastic power and might and SimDiety status. By the end of this update, someone will die. See? Look what you're going to make me do. Now let's get down to business this week with a recap, shall we?

Previously on Apocalypse Mao...
My wonderful Mao was kind enough to set Julian up with all of the skills he would need as a scientist but cooking, and have him build a relationship with a certain Dagmar Bertino. Unfortunately, Jake must have drawn the short straw, as well as ridden the short bus, as his skills were minimal. It was decided that Julian would go into science as planned, his future wife would go into military in order to help decimate the zombie population (as well as help send a sim to college), and Jake would go into education (ironic, isn't it?). As pretty handsome as Jake was, it was clear that he would still need some help to land a job anywhere other than the back of a McDonald's.

Jake and Julian were allowed to skill build (and drop a pound or two) while they were waiting for the appropriate jobs to become available. I did however allow them to find the time to construct a few sentries to protect their shack

Finally, Jake did manage to land a job in education, while Julian went into science. Julian took off right away and did great, but Jake for whatever reason, appeared to want to make out with a lipstick wearing pirate drawn on a paper plate. Perhaps this was an omen of things to come?

After the twins' first day of work, Julian decided to invite Dagmar to move in with them. As you can see, she brought more than enough skills with her to make up for Jake's lack of skills. I shouldn't say that like it is a bad thing though. Jake has always just...somehow seemed to be different than his brother.

Meanwhile, night began to fall on the quaint little town shack of Fallout Springs. With the advance of night, so too did the spirits of the dead awaken from their slumber, to feast upon the souls of the...hey wait, is she looking at her own skanky cowgirl portrait?

I'm sure Eris must have been flattered to see that she was at least being remembered fondly...outfit and all. Unfortunately, not all ethereal sims present were all that touched by this little moment.

The Bitch was back.

Kyung-Soon struck with a vengeance! She tore through the shack, scaring everyone she could find, and even went into the cat's house where Gandalf was made to question why his master hadn't been litter box trained like he was.

That was it! It was ON! That wench was going DOWN! Zombo called a press conference for his fellow Americans, to help ease their troubled minds during this time of crisis.

Did I say Americans? I meant snowmen. Either way, ladies and gentlemen....LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLE! (VLAD style)

Had the fight have taken place, likely it would have ended with the toilet both clogging and emitting a foul odor, while Kyung-Soon continued to be pissed off about her destroyed bed and care less about a stinky toilet...however the Hand of Mao intervened, keeping Kyung-Soon's ashes safe...for now.

Kyung-Soon celebrated her victory by listening to Thriller and busting out some sweet new moves.

I'll get you one day, Kyung-Soon...one day.

In the meantime however, Dagmar and a very frostbitten Julian started to get cozy!

...and before long, they were engaged! Fortunately for Dagmar, she didn't notice the violent beating of Gavin in the back of the room. See, Dagmar? This is what you have to look forward to. Cramped conditions, poor environments for children to be raised in, and oh yeah, the dead wandering the earth in a cheery post-apocalyptic setting. As I like to say, fun for the entire family!

A short while later, in a private ceremony attended by Dagmar, a stinky frostbitten Julian, and maybe the wandering eye of a zombie penguin, the two were finally wed behind the shack, as an exchange of shiny magician's rings appeared to take place.

Gandalf meanwhile decided that while everyone's eyes were on the cute couple behind the shack, his time to strike Artanis was now. Gandalf did some sort of Cracked Out Kung Fu Leap of the Cat onto poor Artanis, and nearly got away with it.

Zombo attempted to interview a mutant snowman about his thoughts on the recent violent outbursts in the Dual shack, however he learned nothing aside from a detailed account of what Fallout Springs looked like before "the accident".

The bad luck in the household didn't end with threats of flushing or leaping cats, however. Arwen chose (okay, or I chose for her) to turn away some potential buyers from her nice security job, and unfortunately, that earned her some time off work, a new career, and no unemployment check. Arwen was fired.

Things simply couldn't get any worse elsewhere in the house, so maybe it is time to see what else was going on.

We know what had been going on with Julian and his lovely wife...and the ghost of Kyung-Soon...and the War of the Cats...but has anyone seen Jake?

Jake? Hello? Ja...oh hey, you seem like you've met some sort of new friend. Care to introduce us?

Wow Jake...you um...sure seem to be happy. That's an odd look for you. What are you two talking about so intently?

...J...Jake? Why are you touching his hand? Worse yet...why are you talking about trains?!? Is this a euphemism for something that isn't quite rated G?!

OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT. BREAK IT UP.

It seems that our good buddy Jake enjoys talking about dresses with his new special friend...and asking, "Do you think I would look good in that?"

At this rate, it looks like Julian's kids are going to end up with a friendly and over-excitable Uncle Jake.

While the entire house (okay, me) was still reeling from this latest development...the ghost of Stephan was stalking Artanis, demanding revenge for the destruction of his bed.

Phoebe was in the upstairs of shack, when Kyung-Soon tried oh so hard to get her revenge. It didn't work. Phoebe just started imitating her ghostly mother.

Ah, you crack me up Phoebe. In the background, you can see part of a spooky portrait of Phoebe that I put by the cribs. If that doesn't scare the hell out of any new additions to the family, I don't know what will.

The next day, Julian, Dagmar, and Uncle Jake all got chance cards at work.

BAM! PROMOTION!

BAM! FIVE GRAND!

BAM!...wait, $970? A stupid hot chocolate volcano? I'm starting to think that Julian may need to get his butt in gear and move up in his career track. Speaking of moving up though...

...someone came calling for Gandalf, to take him up to the big fluffy cat bed in the sky. Gandalf soon evaporated and turned into this nice, portable cat carrier...of sorts, while his friends and victims looked on. Even Artanis bowed before what was left of poor Gandalf (the Grey cat).

Gavin spun up wants both to sell a masterpiece and to sell a novel, so inspired by the passing of Gandalf, he put on his favorite bandana and begun work on his epic masterpiece, "Shit, Dawg. We All Gonna Die".

Dagmar, nearing the top of her career track, received another chance card...

...and scored $50k for the family to spend on maintaining their shack! Sweet!

Even better, within hours, both Elrond and Dagmar returned home, both reaching their respective top of careers!

Top of career? Several days off in a row? It was baby time!

The time to get busy is now!

...I honestly don't know how she did it in that suit, but whatever she did worked. Dagmar became pregnant, and the next generation was on its way.

Julian climbed out of bed to practice chess with his twin brother. Kyung-Soon made an appearance, looking displeased as always, while her son Jake tried to ask Julian what he thought of the Village People.

To replace Gandalf, a new cat was brought into the house. Hey dol! Merry dol! Bombadil the cat is here to save the day!

I must admit, Bombadil is QUITE the nice looking cat.

The next night, Phoebe walked in to take care of the cats, and started sobbing uncontrollably. Before I knew it, she was going crazy in the floor, and a retarded zombie was walking in to see what was going on with her. Eventually, she was okay, and had a few wants spin up that could be completed even under the restrictions, so in the end, all was well.

Arwen was the next pet to make it to the top of her career, ensuring that any sims in need of rescue from the zombie hordes would be well taken care of.

Gavin, being the oldest sim in the house, proved to us all that he certainly didn't FEEL like the oldest one when...eww. I'm sorry, that still just doesn't seem right...

LOOK! Even Dagmar is screaming in pain at the thought! That or...hey wait, she's having a baby!

Everyone, please greet Ajax, the newest member of the Dual household. Say hi, Ajax!

...okay, or just gurgle and spit up, that works too.

And with that, my servants loyal readers, I end this quite lengthy update with the birth of the next generation. Let's keep your favorite VB in mind with those unmarked bills though, okay? ;b

• Military restriction lifted [Dagmar]
  

-Part Two-